stretching

over this past week God has brought me from the highs to the lowest of lows and back again. what a roller coaster ride it has been ( to be honest with you i hate roller coasters.....lol). I never thought that i still had so much anger, hurt, pain, fear, and guilt inside ; but guess what i do. isn't it funny how satan fools us. he makes us think we are ok and we just float through life existing on nothing . How painfully sweet it is for God to say ...nope, i see that let me remove it for you.



it reminds of when my zach gets a splinter. he knows it will feel better to remove it but he pretends it doesn't hurt just to be left alone. why is it that we want God to leave us alone sometimes and others we want all he has for us. in the good times we want all of him and nothing less, but in the tough times we only want the love not anything that requires honesty out of us? are we afraid? afraid of healing? sounds odd doesn't it?



i think that sometimes we are afraid of healing.... sometimes healing requires pain and we don't like pain. i know i don't like pain. i have had people tell me God knows who the strong ones are. and i suppose that i give that appearance to people. but all the while inside i am such a scared little girl who just wants love and acceptance. all mt life it has been easier to be rough and angry to keep people away but God in his infinite wisdom is bringing people into my life that he obviously wants there for a reason. some i can see and feel and be very intimate with others only through words and the bridge of God between us. i am blessed to be given the chance to grow and heal with these people who care about me and what more could i ask for. you know who you are ( i hope) and I love you so much for it. i thank God for you all the time.



we are singing one of my favorites hymns this week at church and it speaks so much of what i have said to my Savior every day for this past week. here is the scripture that goes along with it. i hope it blesses you today.



"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion', says my soul, Therefore i hope in him!" Lamentations 3:22-24



Thank you Lord that Your mercy never changes and we can always hope in it. Thank You that You are faithful in every way. amen